When Things are but Just Words

When things are but just words
Let rain wash and drown your heart
That it may find comfort in its coldness
And time and space is but your solace
A friend to keep you on your ground.

When words are but an echo gone in the wind
Dry as the desert sands carried to nowhere
Fill your emptiness with words that rhyme
And build your oasis in the desert sands
A hope in solitude in the barren land

Find serenity under the midnight full moon
Or find beauty among the fireflies
They grace the night with their humble light
Like little fairies amidst the darkness
Just when your bode is filled with sadness

When your heart is but like a shattered glass
And fixing a mess is a tiresome act
Remember the fireflies, the oasis and the rain
And the full moon of comfort and solace they bring

When things are but just words, let them jump out of the pages
To wrap me so I may know.

Under the Autumn Sun

Under the Autumn Sun

a butterfly flutters in the midday green
searching for flowers nowhere to be seen
sailing in the breeze of an autumn wind
that chills the morning dew beneath its wings

above a lone bird chirps on a tree
waiting for something it can never see
singing a song as sweet as it can be
as the leaves slowly falls from an autumn tree

cold wave splashes on a wooden wharf
on its edge a man sits as though it’s his turf
he stares at a canoe dancing with the ebb
whistle’s a song that gives grace to the act

from afar a cry resounds in the place
a chill of longing, an echo of haste
from the stillness of every thing and silence of today
to the uncertainty of morrow a beautiful chaos is made

as dusk splatter on the canvass of the day
synthetic lights glisten at the quay
following the street lamps he walks on cobblestones
another day is done and he walks home alone.

Hey Sister

Too much nonsense and I say adieu
to every night when I go blue
what to you is a moment gone
and there is nothing left to be done

hey sister what shall ye say?
Can you fill me up? I’m empty these days
just help me up and make me fine
from the poison of my lover’s wine

I beg not look into my eyes
or you’ll see dark rivers and body of lies
intoxicate me in thy euphoria
and blind me from my love’s aurora

hey sister, what do you say?
Can you fill the emptiness of me these days?
Just let me know, I’m ready to go
‘coz I’m stuck here and ready to blow

I dare you not trust my true intentions
just play with me so I won’t hurt your emotion
let’s enjoy the ride into oblivion
what happens to-morrow is mine’s obstruction

so sister what can you say?
Are we ready to go, are we ready to play?
All these is a game, I hope you’ll stay
let’s not talk about forever but live for today

forgive me from these gibberish talk
for lately I can’t seem to walk
now I live in mire and I feel so filthy
my lover’s gone, I’m feeling guilty

a fool I am, I made to myself
forgive me sister I can no longer hide from my shelf
this love has taught me much of how
now I can no longer love somehow.

When Life Sucks Sweet

Oftentimes, the world offers so much fun that in a blink of an eye it was gone. You wouldn’t notice it. Probably because we were so engrossed with the happiness it offers us or maybe because we really tend to enjoy the moment knowing that it is fleeting and thus taking the most out of it.

I’ve realized lately that one of my fears is losing someone. Romantically or not. The reason people look at me as mysterious or very secretive to the point that they call me “suplado” is because I seldom trust people. But when I do, I tend to establish an invisible thread among them and in so doing, I easily give in and open up everything about me (most of it). Once I establish this connection, it would be very hard for me to cut it, except when trust is broken. –or you can blame it to my temperament.

These past few days, I’ve been so yoked at being myself and enjoying much of it. And then, here comes people whom I’ve met before, loved and established connection with. Our paths crossed and just when I thought I was over everything, poof – there goes the beating… dub dub.. dub dub… dub dub… but what else can I do? It’s been over and done and there’s nothing I could do to probably win them back… how I wish they have a heart like mine that makes one stiff as a statue in the middle of a crowded mall when he sees his crush. – well, this is too shallow and cheesy – but mind you, it’s true.

On the other hand, I know that this fear of losing special people – I call them “special” because only a few of them really stands in that small circular region I call friends – would soon be overcome, but just the thought of the process of losing them is already quite hard. What else can I do? Either it’s because of some unavoidable circumstances, others because of priorities and most of them just because it’s over. The first two are understandable but the latter needs specific explanation as I may not be able to understand the silent treatment, sudden disappearances or just simply tell me that I’m thin, dumbass and ugly.

Also, I’ll be turning 28 this Friday and I’ve been thinking that I haven’t been productive at all. It feels like I’ve enjoyed much of my 6 years after graduation in college just enjoying the life of being single and now that I’m turning 28 I should be more mature and take on the ride of a life sentence – marriage. Well, I cannot deny the fact that I have my share of this fashion of flirting and “paniningalang pugad” and I must say they were true to my heart and what I feel but I still can’t imagine myself being married and do the responsibilities that goes with it. You must be thinking I would be a spinster which I WILL NEVER BE. The thought of having children thrills me, what would they be like, would they be as handsome and intelligent as me (coughing) or would they be as dumb and lazy as a sloth? I pray not. Please Lord. Hehe
But how am I suppose to go with it when I’m not yet ready to give up playing arcade and games and watching movies and travelling and blah blah blah… I guess I’m not ready yet. The pressure here and there – I’m like a pendulum tossed on one side to the other trying to please, maybe, others and I’m tired. Can’t have the both sides, otherwise I would go static and useless. The best thing would be to swing farther and break the elastic limit of the string that binds me from where I should be. Hmmm it simply means I’m not ready yet. And 28? I don’t feel like one hahaha. I’m not shy of my age but well I think that I don’t think and act like my age. I guess Freud and Skinner would be mad at me for not satisfying my childhood years.

Well, I guess all these rants are due to what I’m feeling now. The best of both worlds. Feeling like in a cloud nine for meeting and conversing with someone special – miss you like crazy LOL – and *sigh* feeling low for someone who strums my pain with his fingers if I may quote Toni Braxton. How do call that feeling?

Chocolates and Paper Roses

the pearly whites that reflects the sunlight
of pure joy that melts my heart
tame the gods that guards my reason
and open the gates of treasures bastion

those sullen eyes of fiery passion
devours the misty fort of repression
those eyes that holds chasten love
and vestibules of sheer compassion

captured by the halo of your embrace
I’ve knotted the stem of succulent cherry
savored the breeze of your silent breathing
and sealed it with a kiss of ardent fervor

but all are chocolates of dark temptations
and paper roses of sweet nothings
a shroud of spectacle that hides the intentions
like Dorian Gray, you lavished on your impression

still I danced with you as the music played
in a masquerade ball of tweaking and charade
‘til we tire ourselves in this rustic game
and wake up at dusk to see you again.

All is a Lie

Can you read my thoughts?
I don’t know
I’m afraid
Afraid that I might fail
To meet you somewhere I don’t know
My mind can’t conceive
I’m trying to believe
That you just love freedom
But you loved freedom
Too much
Too much, that you wanted freedom
When all I wanted was you.

Can you read my thoughts?
No.
You can’t.
Coz when I’m here waiting
You are there somewhere
Seeking
Flirting
Leaving.

My heart screams
My mind dreams
But they were never answered
And will never be.

I said: “I love you”
I never lied.

You said: “I love you”
But you never tried.