Take Courage

It is heartwarming to know that someone cares
That someone listens despite who you are
Despite the flaws that you try to hide
But shows up eventually

In the years when you have to take courage
And be strong amidst the piercing eyes of people
It is amazing how you can stand up
In the pool of shame that people think of you

But sad to know that some are not strong enough
For the may have not given enough time
Or space
Or even shelter
For them to be at peace with their hearts
And for once take courage to face the day
Of a world full of hate and hypocrisy

But you are not alone
For I may be on the other side of the world
But our hearts are as one
Beating the same language that they can’t even understand
And when they can’t follow its rhythm
They start to shoot arrows and push daggers
For we are not one
With them

If they could only understand
If they could only feel the way we feel
If they could only be in our shoes
If they could only be

But they can’t
But they aren’t
So they will never do
They will never be.

So let us not waste tears for sorrow but for joy
Rejoicing the day that we can survive
And live the way we are
Who we are
For who knows when our time has come
And may God bless it
We are glorified with Him in heaven
For the faith
And the fruit of it
And when it’s all done.

Take courage, you are not alone.

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Norway’s Fairytale

I was watching the entries of Eurovision Song Contest 2011 on Youtube when I came across a song called Fairytale by Alexander Rybak, an entry from Norway that won in 2009.

Somehow his songs gave a different style in music and the words are really good. Now I’m becoming a fan of him. I have to look around for his albums (that is if it’s available here in the Philippines).

Here is what will make every European proud of their race. “Europe Skies” from his latest album “No Boundaries”. Enjoy!

You can check his Youtube Channel

Or, visit Alexander Rybak’s website. ^_^

When Life Sucks Sweet

Oftentimes, the world offers so much fun that in a blink of an eye it was gone. You wouldn’t notice it. Probably because we were so engrossed with the happiness it offers us or maybe because we really tend to enjoy the moment knowing that it is fleeting and thus taking the most out of it.

I’ve realized lately that one of my fears is losing someone. Romantically or not. The reason people look at me as mysterious or very secretive to the point that they call me “suplado” is because I seldom trust people. But when I do, I tend to establish an invisible thread among them and in so doing, I easily give in and open up everything about me (most of it). Once I establish this connection, it would be very hard for me to cut it, except when trust is broken. –or you can blame it to my temperament.

These past few days, I’ve been so yoked at being myself and enjoying much of it. And then, here comes people whom I’ve met before, loved and established connection with. Our paths crossed and just when I thought I was over everything, poof – there goes the beating… dub dub.. dub dub… dub dub… but what else can I do? It’s been over and done and there’s nothing I could do to probably win them back… how I wish they have a heart like mine that makes one stiff as a statue in the middle of a crowded mall when he sees his crush. – well, this is too shallow and cheesy – but mind you, it’s true.

On the other hand, I know that this fear of losing special people – I call them “special” because only a few of them really stands in that small circular region I call friends – would soon be overcome, but just the thought of the process of losing them is already quite hard. What else can I do? Either it’s because of some unavoidable circumstances, others because of priorities and most of them just because it’s over. The first two are understandable but the latter needs specific explanation as I may not be able to understand the silent treatment, sudden disappearances or just simply tell me that I’m thin, dumbass and ugly.

Also, I’ll be turning 28 this Friday and I’ve been thinking that I haven’t been productive at all. It feels like I’ve enjoyed much of my 6 years after graduation in college just enjoying the life of being single and now that I’m turning 28 I should be more mature and take on the ride of a life sentence – marriage. Well, I cannot deny the fact that I have my share of this fashion of flirting and “paniningalang pugad” and I must say they were true to my heart and what I feel but I still can’t imagine myself being married and do the responsibilities that goes with it. You must be thinking I would be a spinster which I WILL NEVER BE. The thought of having children thrills me, what would they be like, would they be as handsome and intelligent as me (coughing) or would they be as dumb and lazy as a sloth? I pray not. Please Lord. Hehe
But how am I suppose to go with it when I’m not yet ready to give up playing arcade and games and watching movies and travelling and blah blah blah… I guess I’m not ready yet. The pressure here and there – I’m like a pendulum tossed on one side to the other trying to please, maybe, others and I’m tired. Can’t have the both sides, otherwise I would go static and useless. The best thing would be to swing farther and break the elastic limit of the string that binds me from where I should be. Hmmm it simply means I’m not ready yet. And 28? I don’t feel like one hahaha. I’m not shy of my age but well I think that I don’t think and act like my age. I guess Freud and Skinner would be mad at me for not satisfying my childhood years.

Well, I guess all these rants are due to what I’m feeling now. The best of both worlds. Feeling like in a cloud nine for meeting and conversing with someone special – miss you like crazy LOL – and *sigh* feeling low for someone who strums my pain with his fingers if I may quote Toni Braxton. How do call that feeling?

Discouragement of the Creative Mind

Creative people appreciate the aesthetic much than the ordinary. We see things beyond what normal people can. This extraordinary perception of things fuels our desire and passion for beauty and harmony as we try to make the world a beautiful place to live in. Thus, the poets, painters, sculptors, artists, writers and the like.

But the world is mundane. They don’t appreciate our idiosyncrasies which often times kill the fire in us. I have written poetry pieces as an expression of my love and adoration that did not appeal to the receiver (either my poetry is a crap or they did not see and appreciated the passion and emotion embedded). We have friends and loves ones that most if not all doesn’t really appreciate what we are doing much so are the people around us. This maybe because they don’t have an eye for beauty or they don’t have time to stop for a while and appreciate the world. Instead, they settle for the fast-paced life where survival is a priority and anything beyond that becomes an impediment to success.

As we are peculiar among the flock, which may cover the lower 25% of the population, banality consumes us. Consequently, we either form our tiny circle of friends who sees things the way we do or we retreat in our little world were everything is but for prosaic. As for me, I choose the latter. This is our own way of survival or else we suffer depression.

As the for the rest, you have an option to be part of the commonplace or to join the pack of the exotic.

KUDOS to Cecilia Gay of Poetrydances for challenging my creative mind. I salute you madame!

Tyranny

I know how your skin feels like
the valleys and contours so treacherous
a bite won’t hurt, but can I ask for more?
For too much you would poison me

You hear the sound of my pleading
as your grip tightens on my soft skin
the moans of suffering that chokes
the life out of this helpless soul

I taste the sweetness of your cherry lips
only after my skin reddened from your beating
only when I feel no more
under the chains that only you commands

you’ll see me creeping, beg for more
not of your whipping but of mercy
as shadows leave the darkened hall
I lie dripping on the floor.

For the Love of Spanish

On my way to the airport, I overheard a mother-daughter conversation behind me in the van. They were speaking in mix languages – local dialect, English but mostly Spanish. My ears just couldn’t resist listening to their conversation in Spanish trying to understand what they’re talking about – which most of it I understand.

Their conversation made me smile. “I really have to pursue formal education of the Spanish language!” I said to myself. I used to listen to Spanish songs; studied idiot’s guide to Spanish and some interactive CD’s, but my knowledge is not enough. I can compose sentences and paragraphs not without grammatical error. How can I go and live in my dream place when in the first place I don’t know how to speak the language? Haha. So, I promise myself to take Spanish language this summer.

I want to live in Barcelona. I don’t know but this Spanish thing has some connection deep in me that I wanted so much to be in that place. I think my soulmate lives there that is why I am not married yet. Hahaha. Or maybe because of my past (I’m not talking about reincarnation hehe).Of course, that includes the most romantic language (at least for me) and the arrogant people. Haha.  A foreign exchange student of mine from Colombia once said, it’s better to live in Latin American countries than in Spain. She said they are aristocrats, arrogant and proud. They feel that they are a superior race. Well, I can’t blame her. There is so much in the history of the Spanish people who made them what they are now.

So here’s my resolution:

  1. Take formal Spanish education this summer.
  2. Study religiously the Spanish books I bought. (that is if I have enough time)
  3. Practice speaking and writing in Spanish. And,
  4. Establish connection with online Spanish-speaking friends.

Hopefully, this year I can already speak Spanish well.

Any other possible suggestions?